


Bold grey (bright blue)

by PerthroSeidraikiri



Series: Catch me when I fall [KNK week 2020] [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Day 1 KNK week summer, Day 1: Soulmate AU, Gen, Kakashi-centric, M/M, Mentions of 3rd Hokage, Monochrome Soul-mate AU, knksummer, knksummer2020, soul-mate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:54:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25471195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerthroSeidraikiri/pseuds/PerthroSeidraikiri
Summary: He’s been told the sky is blue, the oceans are blue, bright and calming; the grass is green and the flowers are all kinds of colors.Grey and black are the only colors he knows.
Relationships: Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Hatake Kakashi, Hatake Kakashi & Maito Gai | Might Guy, Hatake Kakashi/Uzumaki Naruto
Series: Catch me when I fall [KNK week 2020] [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1845013
Comments: 8
Kudos: 164
Collections: KAKANARU SUMMER EVENTS





	Bold grey (bright blue)

**Author's Note:**

> KNK SUMMER DAY 1: Soul-mate AU  
> I'm a bit late,,, but here it is!!
> 
> here's the info for anyone who wants to join: [KNK SUMMER WEEK](https://knksummer.tumblr.com/post/619398557352558592/knk-summer-events)
> 
> [First time writing _monochrome soulmate au_ as well!! dfhgajhf, so e,e.]

Everything is dark, as it always is when he opens his eyes. 

But the darkness in the room is dimmer than usual as his eyes adjust. The lights are off, the street lamp that always shines through his windows have been blocked by the curtains. 

His eyes wander around the room, picking up the shadows that run up and down his walls.  His ears still echo with the voices from his dreams.

Dark, colorless dreams. 

The shadows stretch further, above his bed, flowing under, his eyes follow each and every one.

His alarm reads _ 4:03am _ in bold grey numbers. 

Gai had told him they were red, but grey was all he saw.

All around him, everything, from the sky to the ground is black and grey. 

He’s been told the sky is blue, the oceans are blue, bright and calming; the grass is green; safe and healing, and the flowers are all kinds of colors; attractive and beautiful.

Grey and black are the only colors he knows. 

Dull, cold and bleak. 

* * *

The sight of blood is still frightening in grey. The color is a darker  _ sickly _ shade that oozes down his palms, the wounds he brings home, the tears filled with stings that trickle down his eye and soak his mask. 

It’s sticky and it only brings pain with it. 

It stings and it  _ smells  _ of metal.  A displeasing scent that overwhelms his nose.  He carries it around on him after every mission. Lets his leach him. 

He watches it pool under his comrades as the life leaks out of them along with it. Spreading and staining their faces darkly. 

It coats their lips, runs down their chins and bleeds from their necks.

Everyone seems horrified. 

Like this isn’t their  _ job.  _

Like they had no idea such a result was what their job  _ did. _

And Kakashi feels like an outlier once again.

Something that doesn’t seem to change no matter where he is. 

His lungs twist in his chest when his comrades throw at him looks of indifference, immediately separating him from them.

He learns not to care.

The blood on his arm flows freely, separating in rivulets. 

Gai tells him it’s red.

Red like his Sharingan.

It quickly becomes his least favorite color. 

* * *

“Kakashi!”

The voice echoes way too loud, even the civilians turn to look in irritation. 

Kakashi doesn’t share their sentiment, but he winces as it brushes by and rings in his ear.

Gai zooms in front of him, hands on his hips and grin wide and merciless. His complexion looks a lot darker than the last time Kakashi saw him. Almost brighter. The grey around him kind of dims for a moment as he moves closer, hovering over him.

His eyes carry a hint of curiosity but concern.

Kakashi’s already sure he doesn’t want to hear it.

“Have you heard about Naruto-shounen?”   
  
He had, rumours flit about and cloud the air; stuffing up the crowds. Murmurs and whispers, curls of lips and twisting of stories; each one darker and more disgusted that the one before it. He drowns them out.

But his eyes don’t fail to threaten some of them quiet. 

“Yeah,” he replies, eyes narrowing to the side where the flowers sway and bloom, the one to the right is brighter than the rest, it’s value brighter than the one next to it. It’s yellow, the sun shines better through the petals rather than the ones next to it. 

“He’s about to graduate the academy in a month.”

Kakashi’s heart stutters just a bit.

He hasn’t been allowed to see him.

And if he had been, he wouldn’t.

“Oh?” he murmurs, the petals from the darker flower floating to the ground, “I see.”

What else should he say?

How he doesn’t want the kid to become a shinobi?

How he wants to stop being such a coward and just confront the kid? 

Help him even though it may hurt to look at him?   
  
“He looks like sensei.”

Gai’s eyes follow where his own are focused on, the man’s lips purse together tightly as he notices the flowers Kakashi is staring at. 

The yellow tulips are almost transparent as the sun shines through them, radiant than the rest.

“He has blue eyes as well.” Gai added, picking up the tulip resting on the ground, twirling it around in his fingers, “almost this shade.”   
  
He walks off, hands clenching into fists in his pockets. 

Bright, drawing, painful.

A right wonderful mix of what Kakashi doesn’t need. 

Gai knows Kakashi doesn't know what blue _actually_ looks like. He knows Kakashi doesn't know what _any_ color actually looks like. And every single time, he reminds him, he tells him and he hates but looks forward to it at the same time. 

* * *

“You’ll be taking on a team.”   
  
It’s the same thing he hears every time before he leaves the Hokage’s office, it looms over them like a cloud. He’s learned to accept it, but that doesn’t mean he wants to hear it. 

“Graduation is in 2 weeks time,” The folder slides forward, Hiruzen’s fingers pressing it onto the floor before he lets go, eyes trailing up watch as Kakashi flips it open.

His hand freezes.

“Uzumaki Naruto,” Hiruzen mutters as he watches Kakashi, pipe in his mouth yet the words break the crystal that had formed around him. 

“It’s time Kakashi.”   
  
His hair is bright.

Just like his smile.

* * *

His flak jacket feels heavier than it should. Yet the color of it looks and makes him feel even worse. He picks at his gloves, clenching his fingers, popping the knuckles and quickly the stiffness in them fades away.

The folder on his table lies closed, yet the picture of Naruto peeks above no matter how many times he adjusts it.

He’s not sure if he’s ready for a team.

He’s not sure if he’s ready for such a big responsibility.

To be in charge of growing children.

Growing future shinobis who need the right helping hand, which is certainly not his and will never be. 

He has to consider their feelings, their safety, their wants, their weaknesses, their strengths and thoughts all in one go, tripled. 

Maybe even more. 

Shining little stars which Kakashi feels he might dim.

Especially the brightest one of them all. 

* * *

He hears Naruto’s voice before he sees him, he had entered the class and hadn’t looked at any of them, especially not where  _ blond  _ seemed to peek at the corner of his eyes.

They frown at him, obviously not pleased with him being late and how suspicious or mysterious he looked.

His own introduction probably didn’t make anything better either. 

  
_ “I'm Hatake Kakashi. Things I like and things I hate… I don't feel like telling you that. My dreams for the future… never really thought about it. As for my hobbies… I have lots of hobbies.” _

Sakura flushes and giggles, her cheeks color darker. 

Sasuke broods into his hands. Black eyes staring challengingly into Kakashi’s own.

Naruto exclaims at the top of his lungs and demands his attention.

Which he gets, even if Kakashi tries his best not to give him. 

He hands them each a scroll. 

When he stops in front of Naruto, the teen squints up at him, tongue poked out and eyes narrowed at Kakashi’s mask, he thrusts his hands forward, right into Kakashi’s chest.

“I’m Uzumaki Naruto,” he repeats, like Kakashi hadn’t been listening before.

Like he had noticed Kakashi was trying his best not to listen when he was speaking. 

Kakashi’s fingers dig bluntly into his palm as he takes Naruto’s hand. 

Eyes looking into his light grey ones.

Which get brighter.

Lighter.

And  _ bluer. _

_ He drowns in them.  _

**Author's Note:**

> =] Feedback is appreciated!  
> I haven't written for these boys... in a long time, lol.
> 
> Stay safe and take care!!


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